I am so suffer to hide all of it, I know my eyes can talked, My face can show it, My attitude look clearly hate it. Try harder to keep it deep inside of my heart, but failed It hurt me so much. I want to scream that I hate all of what he was doing. But I can't, I want to go from it but I have no brave. I am so scare now. and No one knows. All what they know is I always smile, I always Laugh, I always do my daily life like usual. In a fact I just want to keep it. I don't want they know about my big disinclination to him.
I know I am wrong..truly wrong. I am not supposed like this. I want to destroy it, and change it with a sincerity of love, with a happiness, with a charity, with all of the thing that can make us feeling happy and comfortable without crying. But the question is How.?? How can I forget it? How can I change it without a help from all of you. I've already try to make the situation getting better. But because of one thing, that I can't accept with my principle of life, I have to feel it again . So what Can I do Know. I don't want keep this feeling for rest of my life. I just want to be a good daughter for him. Although He didn't care about us, about the situation, about our condition, about his daughthers. What in his mind is How to buy it I know that by see him.
Tell me how..help me how to do this, without broken feeling. I need him because He is the last parent that I ever have. I want to get back my respect to him. I want to love him like other people. Loving their parent so deeply without any condition. I want to be like them. So teach me please...
